YOU Think I'm Crazy....Well, You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet: (Cue music: Distorted electric guitars ring with just a slight hint of reverb. A crowd is making ready to join in, they sing "b-b-baaaaby you just...."
This is a year of passion. What makes it different than any other year? I'm not sure. But I know that personally I'm feeling more joyful about the journey than ever before. Why? Because I've got more on my plate. Honestly, I have no clue HOW I'm going to accomplish everything that I want to do. But I do know that it's going to happen. Maybe that's part of the trick I've been missing all of these years...focusing so much on the how that I forgot how exhilarating the journey can be (and always is.)
Maybe we've misinterpreted the old cliche, "going with the flow," or as many in some of the circles I travel in would say, "flowing with the Holy Ghost." What does it really mean? I always thought it meant that a person just went with whatever circumstances were given, not really having any goals or any set picture in mind. The problem with this interpretation (I'm speaking to myself here) is that it leaves a man anchorless, and eventually saps the last vestiges of his own will, desire and passion to go after something he has longed for. More and more, I'm coming to realize that a person can still "go with the flow" or "flow with the Holy Ghost" and still boldly proclaim their dreams and desires. We can actually set goals for ourselves and have faith and trust that every circumstance and opportunity will present itself to accomplish those goals when the timing is right. In fact, I dare you to try it.
Friday at work we had a guest speaker come talk to our students about Black History Month. I swallowed my cynicism (something I'm still cultivating), but the speaker made it easier when he opened by quoting Langston Hughes. "What becomes of a dream deferred?" This hit the nail on the head of the multitude of things that have been rising up in my spirit as of late. So much has shifted as of late: I'm a dad. I didn't happen the way we planned it or expected it. I'm working a day job: When we got married Stef and I were supposed to continue being crazy missionaries. But yet those dreams still speak to us. They are still coming in waves. Neither of us are any less content. In fact, those dreams burn within us all the more. We don't know how we're going to get there but we are, just like we didn't know how our daughter was going to get here but she did, despite all of the odds and statistics that weighed against her and us as a family.
These are the things that pass through my brain during the days, usually when I'm out running or in transit to or from the hospital. How do I really know anything? How to I know I'm going to make it to the hospital? How do I know I'm going to make it through my day at work? How do I know that I'm going to wake up in the morning? I don't. And I don't have to anymore. The how does not amount to hill of beans. The now is what matters and that's precisely when the how will present itself.
Saturday I ran 17 miles. Some people have told me that's crazy. Maybe it is. It's just the tip of the iceberg. I've done 20 miles in a day before (10 in the morning and 10 again in the evening), but I've never done more than 14 in one session. In many ways, Saturday was a milestone for me. I ran longer in one session than I ever have before and I did it much faster than I expected. What did it look like? From a distance, nothing spectacular. A man in reasonably good shape going for a jog late on a Saturday morning. Nothing too out of the ordinary. How did I do it? I believed that I could and I got out there and put one foot in front of the other. But that's just the tip of the iceberg.
I'm going to run 100 miles. Why?
Because six years ago I read a book and something inside leapt with joy and screamed to be discovered.
Be passionate. And never give up.
"The human spirit...when challenged...will soar."---Marshall Ulrich.
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