My First Marathon and What I Learned: The Journey (Part II).

     As I mentioned in an earlier post, last week I completed my first marathon.  (The Austin Marathon, woot woot!).  I detailed my race experience, but hinted at how the journey leading up to the race was the real reward.  Really, the race was just the icing on the cake, even though it stands as my longest continuous run to date.  (I've done 30 miles in a day before, but at separate intervals.)  In this post I plan to debrief about the year leading up to the race, about my training plan(s) and how life happened in the midst of it.

      Am I Crazy?:

      It's a question we've all asked ourselves from time to time.  If you haven't then you probably are indeed, crazy.  Flashback to December 2013.  I'd just been released for Christmas break.  My wife was in the hospital awaiting the birth of our daughter, Olive.  There were severe complications, I'll spare the details, but in a nutshell we were planning on being camped out in the hospital for 10 weeks so Olive could be monitored in the womb and be delivered safely when the time arose.  I was re-reading McDougall's Born to Run, (which is a must-read for any athlete.  If you haven't read it, you're doing yourself a disservice,) and something woke up inside of me.  "I don't know why."  I told myself.  "But doing a 100 mile race on foot one of these days sounds like a lot of fun."  I figured I'd start with a marathon and go from there.  My training began the next day.  I had little idea what I was doing, training mostly by intuition when I first began.  Two days later, I did a seven mile run, a distance I hadn't run since high school almost ten years prior, and didn't feel completely crippled the next day.  I wanted more.

      Training Phase I:

      I hadn't trained much for anything in almost 2 years up to this point being that I worked professionally on a landscape and lawn crew.  After mowing, weedeating, or digging irrigation lines for 12+ hours a day, you really don't feel like doing anything physical after work.  But when I secured my teaching job, the lack of physical activity in my workday left my body and mind screaming for engagement.  With energy to burn, I spend two months weightlifting 4 times a week, and supplementing short runs (3-4 miles) on the days I wasn't in the gym.  After two months of this I began doing 7 mile runs four times a week with two days of weight training in between and one day of rest.  My body felt strong.  And overall I felt more confident in my ability "to go the distance".

      Phase II:  How Many Miles 

       

      I continued the cycle for about a month and then got to where I knew my body (and mind) needed a challenged to make it to the next level.  After doing a bit of research I developed a build up plan that would fit into my schedule.  The idea was to see how many miles I could put on my body in one week and be able to do it all over again.  The progression was interesting to say the least.  A couple of highlights:  Planning my first ten miler on an unseasonably hot day in brand new shoes with no water.  22-mile unaided solo-midnight run that had me in tears by the end of it.  (I had also run 8 miles earlier that afternoon).  Discovering that walking every once in a while did not mean I'm a giant wuss.  All in all, but the time the summer hit, I was doing 70 miles a week, but had missed marathon season.  I felt like I was about to hit a plateau.  

      Phase III:  Intuition

      At some point I felt my running was getting stale.  I could go and knock out 10 miles in 1:20 with relative ease.  It was a good feeling, but I started getting bored.  I got tired of checking my watch for mile splits.  I was getting tired of the same old routes.   So I put my watch on the shelf and went adventuring.  This is what my current training plan has evolved into and what I used to train for the marathon:

        1.  I make sure I do at least two days a week of strength training (usually crossfit cycles with 2 mile run at the end, or some type of weight lifting.  I usually to do circuits with a 4-5 minute run at the end of each circuit.

        2.  A speed workout.  My go to here is doing 400-meter repeaters.  High intensity increases both recovery time and running economy (aka how efficient your foot strokes are).  If I don't do 400-meter repeaters, I'll do hill repeats.  

       3.  A long run.  I consider this anything 10 miles or longer, but really for me the determining factor is the 2 hours window.  At two hours, the body will have depleted it's glycogen stores and this is where you really begin to see what you're made of.

      4.  I include one full day of rest, the other two days are what I call adventure runs.  I don't have a specific time limit or distance in mind.  I'll run as fast or as slow as a feel for as long as I feel.  I've found that on average I go for usually an hour and do something between 7.5-8 miles depending on the terrain.  These types of runs work well fro me because they engage the therapeutic side of running, the freedom of being out on the road or trail by yourself.  Just you and God and your own two fit.  

       All in all, I would say, getting in shape and developing a healthier lifestyle are fringe benefits of the running life.  (My diet also changed significantly as I found that if I cut the crap out of my diet, I recovered faster and thus could run more.  I also had way more energy day-in and day-out on the job.)  For me the key discovery with all of the training has been the mental training that occurs.  I'm convinced that the physical engagement to any endurance task comes secondary to the mental fortitude required to complete it.  

       Life Happens:  

        So I have my optimum training plan developed.  It should be easy.  Just follow the formula and you'll be in great shape for the race?  Right?  Nope.  Work meetings.  Family emergencies.  All kinds of unexpected things occurred.  The lasts two months before the race I did not have the time to do any long runs.  There were even a couple of weeks where I only ran two days those weeks.  When things go ka-put with the training it's easy to get down on yourself.  To top it off, two days before the race, I started coming down with some upper respiratory crud.  But...enter the mind.  If you're committed to it, you will reach the goal, regardless of how well you've stuck to your training program.  I made the commitment that I was going to cross the finish even if I had to crawl.  At about the 17 mile mark, I asked myself the question that had stuck out in my mind more than a year earlier sitting in the hospital.  Am I crazy?  Why am I doing this.  I didn't know.  But I had to finish.  And when I did a flood of everything that happened to get me there washed over me.  All I could do is cry with happiness.  

      

My First Marathon: A Recap.

My First Marathon:  A Recap

        Sunday I completed the Austin Marathon.  This was my first marathon ever, and longest continuous run.  A year ago I set the goal for myself and the completion of the race represents some of the sweet, sweet fruit.  While finishing the race was great, to be honest, for me, this is not just some item to check off my bucket list, but, the beginning of something completely new that I can't quite put into words at the moment.
     
      So below, I'll post a brief recap of the race, later this week I'll post a second blog highlighting  my journey to get to the race.



The Gun Goes Off:  Miles 1-3:

     13,000 people embark simultaneously.  It's a roar of voices, shoes, breaths, cameras.  I feel like I'm floating on air.  I feel fast even though I'm running uphill.  I know from the course map the first 3 miles are straight uphill and the first 12 are more or less a steady climb.  I'm passing people left and right, running comfortably.  I blast through the first aid station at the 5k mark.  My breathing feels good and I settle in with the pacers for the 3:20 group.  I have to pee (must've been the pre-race coffee), but opt to stop at the 10k aid station to whiz.


Rhythm:  Miles 4-6:

   All's clear.  I hit my rhythm and am running comfortably.  Generally, I don't start to warm-up until mile 4 or 5, and the race was no exception.  I have no idea what my pace is, which per my training, I do not use a watch much in an attempt to hone my intuition to know when to push, when to settle and when to slow down.  I hold my pace.  Mile 5 had a couple of nice downhills, so I let my legs hang loose and ride the wave.  I hit the 10k aid station at 49 minutes, five minutes slower than my PR at the 10k.  This is supposedly a good pace, right?  I pee, refill my water bottle, then I get back on the course.


It's Going to be a Long Day:  Miles 7-10:

       Between miles 7 and 8 I take my first energy gel.  I know from training that I'll reach my caloric threshold and burn out all my glycogen at about the 2 hour mark.  I took 3 gels with me, planning to take 1 every hour, and supplement with other offers at the aid stations.  Around mile 9, after a steep climb, I began to feel the first signs of being winded.  I still feel comfortable and confident, but the idea of 17 more miles of this does not seem welcoming.  I also feel some poo-poo a brewing.  I decide to see if I can make it to the halfway mark before I bust a dookie.  At mile 10, I catch my time on the big clock.  1:22.  Just over 8 minutes a mile.  Not bad on account of the hills and the pee break.  I'm pleased with myself and try to ride the high.  I know the low is coming.  I do have 16 more miles after all...

Push it Reeeaaallll Good:  Miles 11-13:

      Whatever "the zone" is, this was pretty much the only portion of the race I was in it.  I don't remember running these three miles, other than getting to the aid station at the halfway mark and having to spray mud, only to have to wait in line behind two dudes from Team A & M.  (I wonder if they knew the marathon was in Austin?...they were aggies after all.)  I poop.  It feels good.  I refill my water bottle, slug some gatorade from one of the volunteers and get on out the gate.  I'm sitting pretty at 1:44.


I Don't Know What's a Good Idea Anymore:  Miles 14-17:

     Mile 13 was okay.  Just okay.  As soon as I hit mile 14, the bottom dropped out.  My wind was gone, my entire body felt weak, and on top of that I was pissed, because I've run at least this far several times over the last year and never felt this bad.  I guy running beside me offers some encouragement.  "Hey, what's your goal."  "Just to make it to the finish in less than 4 hours,"  I tell him.  "You'll make that for sure."  I pull ahead a bit, but I know I can't hold this pace for very much longer.  Time to regroup and rethink my strategy.  I turn my watch on to run/walk mode.  I run for 5 minutes and walk for a minute, and repeat the cycle until I feel more coherent...at least, that was the plan...


Ouch:  Miles 17-20:

         Why am I doing this again exactly?  Oh look a dog.  Is that fat guy really holding pace better than me?  A beer would me nice right now, yes 74 beers.  I eat my last energy gel and pretend it's a beer.  "Monk.  Is that the Monk-man?"  I hear one of the spectators say.  "Wait, Harry?"  "Yeah.  You've got this, Matt.  Regroup and go finish."  Harry gives me a hug and pushes me in the right direction.  I make it in to the next aid station in better spirits.  I pee.  I slug some gatorade.  I douse myself with ice water.  I can't get "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" out of my head.  


What Wall?  Miles 21-23:

      Once I hit mile 21 I begin to get out of the funk.  My mind is clear.  From everything I've read, this is where most people hit "the wall", I don't feel much of a wall, other than just being really tired of running.  But, I have less than a 10k left.  I can run a 10k in my sleep.  Yes, sleep would be good.  I know I'm going to finish.  I could care less about my time.  I hold my pace good for about 10 minutes and then both of my legs spasm.  Hamstrings, quads, calvess, the whole enchilada.  I hobble into the last aid station and instruct the volunteers to pour cold water on my legs.  It helps.  I run for a couple of minutes.  I walk for a couple of minutes.  My lungs feel fine, but I've completely lost control of my legs.  Whatever.  I'm going to finish even if I have to crawl across the line.


Finish Strong:  Miles 24-26.2:

      At this point everyone can smell the finish.  I feel myself being fed by the energy of the growing crowd and all of my fellow runners/psychopaths.  We are running through the UT campus and hundreds of students/alumuni are having a great time watching us slog through to the end.  I think I smell beer.  Mmmmm.....beer.....there's a hill, whatever.  I don't remember if I crawled up it, ran up it, walked up it, maybe I levitated over it.  I made it to the top and to the last turn.  With 400 meters left, I broke out into a full sprint.  Just like all the speed days I did 400 meter repeaters.  Just like high school athletics, we ran a 400 after every workout.  They even had a sign that said, 400 meters left.  I sprint and I know God has a sense of humor.  I cross the line at 3:57 unofficially (my chip/official time a couple of minutes faster.)

     There's nothing quite like hitting the finish line while the entire city cheers you on.  Your body is trashed.  Your mind is gone.  There's nothing left but your heart.  And as good as it felt to finish, the journey itself, what happened to me during the training and life before the race begun is the greatest reward.


        The moral of the story is....if you've ever wondered whether or not you should run a marathon, the answer is a positive YES!


          Stay tuned for part II coming later this week.


          Cheers you all, and big up to all my fellow runners who made it to the finish.


    




     

The Holographic Universe

       This is generally a topic I discuss only among close friends in clandestine locations.  It is sensitive information.  It is the stuff many do not want you to know about.  But, as there have been a few requests, I will attempt to bring a little clarity to the topic:  the universe is a hologram.  Wait...what?  Yes, the universe is a hologram.  Say it out loud to yourself and let it sink in.  This article I posted from spiritscienceandmetaphysics.com (http://www.spiritscienceandmetaphysics.com/new-study-confirms-universe-is-a-hologram/)  Sparked the initial discussion.  Tom Campbell's brief intro to the topic also serves as a good refresher.

       I must preface this by saying that what I'm going to share in the remainder of this post does not even scratch the surfaces to how deep down the rabbit hole this thing goes.  By no means am I trying to provide, nor do I have all the answers.  My hope through this writing is merely to spark others' personal exploration into this topic.  Through my own personal (many times unexplainable) experiences and study, I have been sorting out these questions for 10 years.  The further I go, the less I realize I know.

       The question is then:  If the universe is a hologram, then how does God fit into the picture?

       There is really no "good" way to tackle a question this huge, but I've stumbled across three blanket concepts that have really helped me put some pieces of the puzzle together.  For the remainder of this post, I will review the three concepts and then shift to focus more intensely upon the "God" part of the equation.

       Now it's time for the first key concept:

       1.There Are No Solid Objects

        

         If we look at reality at the quantum level, or, break it down into its tiniest components, we will find that everything we see and perceive is composed of vibrating energy.  But, the chair I'm sitting in is solid, it's holding me up, my flesh and bones are sturdy.  I can see these things, touch them, taste them and smell them.  How is all of this merely vibrating energy, if it appears so solid and substantial?  Well, these objects are made of molecules, which are made of atoms, and each atom itself is structured like a tiny solar system.  There's a nucleus, or sun, that electrons (planets) orbit around.  The point I'm trying to make is that there is space within different parts of the atoms themselves.  This being the case, the chair I'm sitting in is here because I believe it is here and am convinced the chair is supposed to be solid.  The laws at the subatomic level and I have agreed with and thus my belief in these laws has allowed them to operate in the physical space around me.  If the law is changed, the vibration is changed, which changes what comes forth into the physical space.  If I change my perception, the whole thing breaks down.  Remember the old verse, "My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are my ways your ways," Is. 55:8-9?  Food for thought.  If we change the way we think, we change what laws are active regarding the energy surrounding us, and thus what comes forth in the vibrational field.  This is possible, because at a real level, no object is solid.  It looks solid because of the manner in which its source energy is vibrating.

       Key Concept #2:

        2.Visible Light Only Comprises .005% of  All Energy

           This means what we perceive with our physical senses is less than 1% of everything else happening in the cosmos.  Even in the spectrum of visible light (solid, liquid, gas, plasma), 98% of this spectrum is comprised of plasma, though our schools aren't teaching this in science classrooms throughout the nation.  Plasma, is what we could normally call electricity, and it makes up the vast majority of visible light, BUT is still a miniscule amount of all energy in the universe.  All of this information begs the question(s):  WHY do we perceive what we perceive?  AND...How much are we not aware of?  I'm not going to attempt to answer these questions, but I think they are important to have turning in our awareness.  The important take-away from this key concept for me is:  You are not your body!   You are infinite consciousness expanding in every direction regardless of whether you realize it or not!  This is who you are.  So what?  By knowing this, it is much more difficult to get stuck in a mode of self-pity, to stagnate in a place where you feel insignificant and small.  You may be aware only your smallness, but this is not the truth, this is not reality.  By engaging in this manner, your awareness will open you how large and limitless you are.  You will tap into the origins of your thoughts, re-write old thinking patterns and bad habits and literally create the life you want.  If what you perceive physically is only .005% of the energy/all the different realms you inhabit and possess, then what you see is not always an accurate representation of what is really happening.  Circumstances are transitory because what is happening in realms beyond visible light effect the circumstances.  Again, change the vibration, change the circumstances, but by no means should we continue seeing ourselves as victims of circumstance because our circumstances are only a fraction of what happens in these other realms.  Thus, visible light can be programmed for manifestation through what happens in these frequencies beyond visible light.  

      Key Concept #3:

 3.Your Brain is a Transmitter, A Sender and Receiver of Vibrations

     Your brain is not merely the organ responsible for stabilizing the processes running throughout your body to keep you alive.  Then again, those processes have to originate from somewhere.  But your brain also is a generator and conductor of light (cf: the pineal gland), which transmits and receives signals from beyond the spectrum of visible light.  Generally, this transmission and reception can be called, "thinking".  Where do thoughts come from?  Thoughts are real substance that exists beyond the spectrum of visible light but can be transmuted (changed/converted) into real substance within the spectrum of visible light.  You are constantly receiving signals and choosing (whether you realize it or not) to either empower the transmissions you receive or to reject them.  At the same time you are receiving, you are also sending transmissions outward and these transmissions will eventually grab hold or attract other substances of similar vibration and bring them into your mental space.  In other words, what you put out comes back to you.  Call it Karma, call it sowing and reaping.  It doesn't necessarily have to do directly with what types of deeds you commit, but with what kinds of thoughts you are thinking.  Thoughts all have their own unique vibration and will attract other substances and manifest into circumstances that have a similar frequency and vibration.  The good news is that armed with knowledge, you are now aware that you can literally choose the thoughts you think.  You are not subject to any willy nilly thought desiring to seek expression in your life.  Another hot tip is thoughts can transmute negative emotions.  In other words, if you feel like dogcrap emotionally, thinking positively about something good, literally will change the vibrational field of those negative emotions, thereby swallowing the negativity entirely.  If you change the thought, you change the feeling.

      On God (Briefly):

       I hope the above has clarified a few things for you.  I know personally, those three revelations have been vital for me in my quest for truth, and they have altered drastically the manner in which I live my life (for the better!).  To revisit the question:

          If the universe is a hologram, then how does God fit into the picture?

       I know much of this may sound like impersonal theorizing.  We live in this holographic universe.  I'm dishing out terms like energy, frequency and vibration we seem cold and impersonal.  But it's not!  You are, we are, I am, one with all of this energy, frequency, vibration!  We always have been, It's simply that our awareness has been programmed to see only a small portion of it.  The fact that we exist in a plane of visible light (only .005% of all energy) is an honor in privilege.  To me, this adds so much to our uniqueness.  Of all the parallel dimensions, of all the other space and energy in the universe (which we do inhabit), we are conscious, aware and inhabit a space that 99.995% of the rest of the universe cannot inhabit.  The only way this other energy can come to inhabit the plane of visible light is through our consent.  In other words, we call into being from these other realms what we choose.  John 14:2, Jesus states, "In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?"  The term "rooms" here or "mansions" in other translations can mean realms of reality.  Another way the verse could be read is, "From your point of origin, there are many realms of reality, and I have unlocked these for you."  We are one with our origin , our source, our Father, and thus these realities are open to us to shape, form and create whatever we like.  

       And so it goes.  I would like to elaborate more, but I feel too much at this point may begin to get convoluted and confusing.

      Please contact me if you would like to discuss, or post your comments on the page.  I hope this has been enlightening and opened a hunger within you.  

      Your perception and your belief are what calls forth everything that is.  Changing the world starts in your heart.  Thank you for sharing the journey.  We WILL do this.     

      

       

            

          

5 Tips that Will Help You Thrive in the NICU and Beyond

       Today is World Prematurity Day.  I'll be honest.  Until last year, I would have known nothing about it.  But things have changed.  What?  Over the past year, my wife and I have become the proud parents of a preemie and NICU survivor.  One of the things that amazes me about premature birth is it's prevalence.  It is more common than I previously realized, yet there is so little public exposure about it.

       In the following post I hope to spread a bit of awareness and give a quick survival guide to parents with children currently in the NICU or family and friends who have other friends and family with a child in the NICU.



1.  You CAN Do It.

       Over and over again this is what it came down to for my wife and I.  Without going into too much detail, our daughter was in the NICU for 149 days.  It is hardly the way you envision the first five months with your child.  You have to be prepared for changes, which happen almost daily.  You're lifestyle is going to be drastically different.  Things that seemed momentously important before will now seem as minor details.  You will laugh.  You will cry.  You will get frustrated.  You will be exhausted.  But at the end of it all, you will count it as joy.  You will emerge with a new appreciation for yourself, your family and your child.  It will be tough.  Please don't misunderstand me, I would not wish for anyone to go through what my wife, my daughter and I had to go through.  But for those who are in that situation now and for those who may go through it in the future:  YOU CAN DO IT.  YOU WILL DO IT.  You're tougher than you think and capable of much more than you believe.

2.  Ask Questions.

      If you are in the situation where your child has to have a NICU stay, this is imperative.  Your child will have a team of doctors assigned to him/her.  These doctors will ask you every day if you have any questions.  If you do, then ask, no matter how small you think the concern is.  One small thing could be key to the treatment of your child and your child's progress.  You will also learn that different doctors have different opinions on the methods and ways of administering treatment.  It is important for you to know where they are coming from, what their rationale for proceeding in a certain manner is and comparing that with the opinions of other doctors on your child's team.  You want the best for your kid.  Sometimes a doctor's decision may not be the best one, that's why it's important to know where they are coming from AND to talk to the other doctors.  All that being said, I would suggest refraining from doing independent research.  Trolling the internet for how to treat your child in the NICU is only going to make you anxious, and quite frankly most of will be of no use to you.  Most NICUs also have a resource nurse on duty for each shift.  This nurse is assigned (and paid to do research for the doctors and patients.  Make friends with the resource nurse and do not be afraid to have them look something up for you.

          
 3.  Spend as Much Time as You Can with Your Kid

       This should go without saying, but it is essential for so many reasons I possibly could not list them all.  It works hand in hand with #2 in terms of treatment because you will spend more time with your child than the doctors and knowing how your child has been acting and reacting to treatment is very powerful in getting your child exactly what he/she needs.  Your child has a unique personality.  Our daughter weighed 2 pounds, 2 ounces when she was born, but even with such tiny stature, even plugged into all the machines and monitors, she was fiercely her own person.  Getting to know your kid at this stage in life is a gift that most parents don't get.  Enjoy the privilege.  Your child is aware of and enjoys thoroughly your presence.  In fact, your presence alone may be the most powerful instrument in their healing, growth and development.  Our daughter met and has continued to meet many milestones much earlier than her medical team predicted.  We have experienced similar testimonies from other families who had children in the NICU.  Medicine and treatment is important, but do not underestimate how powerful your touch, your voice and your presence can be in the life of your child.  Spending time with your kid gives him/her this much needed experience and it gives you a more informed voice in advocating for your child when treatment progresses.


 4.  Take Care of Yourself

       This may seem to contradict #3, but it is essential and the two actually work together.  You want the time with your kid to be high-quality time.  If you aren't taking care of yourself, the time you spend with your child will decline in quality.  You may start to resent your child and begin down the spiral of self-pity.  This is not a good place to be in at any phase in your life, but especially when you have a kid in the NICU who has to get up and fight everyday just to stay alive.  It is imperative that you find time to relieve stress AND debrief with your spouse.  Go on dates together.  Do things you enjoy.  Take a little time to spend on a hobby.  Eat well.  Exercise.  Get rest.  All of these will make your child's NICU stay more manageable.  If you feel better, so will your child.  For me personally, I took up training for a 100 mile footrace during this time.  It had long been a bucketlist item for me.  The training forced me to focus on something other than my child's situation.  It distracted me from worrying about things I could not control and the physical exercise was a great stress reliever.  Take care of yourself too.  Do not feel guilty about going out and doing something you enjoy every once in a while.  You'll be happier.  The ride will be smoother and your child will notice.



 5.  Don't Expect People to Understand

       Sharing, being honest with your emotions and being proactive about your child's situation is important.  It will help you make sense of things and come to terms with NICU life.  It will be a roller coaster ride as you may be confronted, sometimes daily, with very hard decisions.  As you share with friends and family, it is good to build a support system, but do not expect them or anyone else to fully understand where you're at.  Don't expect them to "get it".  They won't.  That's okay.  People mean well, but they may say some pretty asinine things in their attempts to "help."  If I had a dollar for every time someone I wanted to throw someone out a window for saying something ignorant about my daughter's NICU stay, I would be a billionaire.  It is important to see their intention and not the effect.  People you thought were close to you may be scared of your situation and may make themselves unavailable.  Others, whom you may not have considered close, will step up to the plate big time.  It's just the way things you are.  Go with the flow.  Try not to be offended.  But ultimately, you are in control of how you feel and you are the only one who knows what it's like.  Talk to other families in the NICU.  They can be a big help.  Also the doctors, nurses and other staff, who work in this environment day in and day out have tons of encouraging stories when things seem hopeless.  All in all, do not let people's misguided attempts to help, or others non-attempts cause you to grow callous.  They don't understand.  and. that's. okay.  When you leave the NICU the emotional weight of your experience will go with you.  Letting go of any negativity related to your interactions with others during your time in the NICU is essential to transitioning to life back at home.


       Certainly there is much more that could be said.  I hope this was a helpful down and dirty guide for those going through a similar experience.  If you have questions or comments feel free to email me at mmonk23@gmail.com.  You can also see more about our journey in the NICU by checking out my wife, Stefanie's, blog.  Here's her latest article in regards to Prematurity Awareness month:
http://stefaniedreamswithjesus.blogspot.com/2014/11/olives-story.html



               





           

      

   

3 Reasons Why I Don't Vote (And Probably Never Will)

3 Reasons Why I Don't Vote (And Probably Never Will)

   
        Once again we are smack dab in the middle of election season.  Though not Presidential and Federal, local and many statewide elections have just taken place.  As usual I've seen friends and family divide themselves according to party lines, witnessed butt-tons of circular arguments, and even seen people end longstanding friendships over their political views.  For some reason, in our American culture this is deemed as noble, but in reality it is nothing but base, ridiculous childishness.
   
        In the midst of election seasons I always get asked who I'm going to vote for or what party I stand behind.  Inevitably when I tell people I don't vote and I don't plan on voting, I'm blasted with accusations of being "Un-American" "Not Patriotic" "The Problem with America" and "Uninformed".  I don't vote, not because I'm lazy or apathetic but because of the way I see the pieces of the puzzle fit together.  I and others like me have the right to not vote just as all you good patriots have your right to cast your vote.  In the following post, I hope to shed a bit of light on my decision not to vote.  Here are my top 3 reasons why I don't vote.


      1.  America is a Corporation

            Contrary to popular belief, we are not a "sovereign nation", but a corporation.  You can read all about it in the Federal Reserve Act.  http://nesara.org/files/fed_reserve_act_1913.pdf   (Click the link, there's a transcript to the entire act in black and white for your reading pleasure.)
As such our elected officials serve more as a board of directors for a corporation than they do men as and women selected and empowered by the people to represent and fight for the best interests of the people.  Hence, everything under the umbrella-ed jurisdiction of Federal America is considered an asset of the corporation.  This includes your home, your cars, your land, any $ you have in the bank, and even your children.  Ever wonder why you have a social security number?  Every wonder why you have to pay taxes?  Ever wonder why you need a license to drive, to open a business, to hunt, to grow crops, to get married?  That's because you and everything you own are all considered assets and belong to the corporation at large.  Because our "government" is structured this way, from the top down they are trained to do what is best for the corporation, which has nothing to do with your rights or status as a free human being.  Your right to vote, is nothing more than agreeing to give your personal freedom away to group of people who look as you as a non-sentient entity, merely an asset to their business.  When an asset becomes a liability, what happens?  Liabilities are liquidated of course...  I choose not to vote, because I choose not to be treated and represented as an asset to a corporation.  I'm a living, breathing man, and choose to be treated as such.


     2.   Our Representatives, Regardless of Party Affiliation, Work for the Same Handlers
         
           When President Wilson signed the Federal Reserve Act, he levied all the power of banks into one centralized bank named The Federal Reserve.  The problem is that The Federal Reserve itself is a private bank owned by a handful of private investors.  Since the investors forked over the $ to buy our banks out of debt, our country is indebted to them and thus has become an asset.  Our governmental officials then are subject to the wants and whims of the investors.  While officials parade around under the guise of creating and fighting for legislation that will "promote the common good", the reality is that they have to answer to the investors who control the Reserve Banks.  So as we elect our officials, they may make many promises to gain our consent to have them make decisions for us, but the painful truth is that they have their hands tied when it comes to doing anything to promote a real change outside the wants and desires of the investors/owners of the Fed.  In a nutshell, America is indebted to a small group of men, who bought out our debt and our "government"our officials in turn pledged each person on American soil, along with all our natural resources, as collateral for the debt.  I choose not to vote, because my representatives can't really represent me at all, they choose only to bend to the will of a few faceless investors who hide behind a corporate veil.


     3.    If Our "Democracy" Really Worked, It Would Have Already

            "One of the ways you control what people think is by creating the illusion that there's a                        debate going on, but making sure that that debate stays within very narrow margins. Namely,               you have to make sure that both sides in the debate accept certain assumptions, and those                 assumptions turn out to be the propaganda system. As long as everyone accepts the                             propaganda system, then you can have a debate." --Noam Chomsky

       Chomsky's words represent one of the chief reasons why the "democracy" in America does not work and has not every really worked.  The reason is because the media has hypnotized the masses through the political propaganda machine to buy into the notion that there are only two operative choices available in the political spectrum.  You're either democrat or republican.  These are the only two choices.  It's a false dichotomy.  If you're an independent, then you're a kook and conspiracy theorist.   As I related in reason #2, it doesn't matter who you vote for, because at the top of the pyramid, they're all working for the same handlers.  The propaganda machine presents to us an illusion of choice by narrowing our perspective to what reality is.  It is much easier to control people through their consent when they are given the illusion of choice and freedom.  A rule by force is much less effective because when people are aware they are forced into a system of slavery, they naturally fight back.  By subtly influencing our thoughts through the presentation of a false reality, people become submissive because they feel like they are making the choices.  The election of our political representatives is one stark example of this mind manipulation in operation.
         Hence, we get so caught up in debating issues, we miss the bigger picture.  If this system was working, then it would have worked already.  The reason it doesn't work, is because it was designed not to.  It was designed to control you.  A people who is truly free, needs no governmental body to represent their interests.  
         I don't vote because I choose to think for myself, not give my personal power over to another who does not represent my best interests.  I don't vote because I don't want to be complicit in decisions that lead to the murder of millions of people the world over.

       I don't vote because I have a choice not to vote, just as you have a choice to vote.  

       So before anyone goes bashing anyone else, let's listen to what they have to say first.  All in all, we are people first, not mere numbers, not merely ideas, and I think living, breathing people are much more important that ideas.  What about you?          

 
           

3 Lessons I Learned From Picking Up Trash

     It was about a year ago that Stef (my wife) found out she was pregnant.  I remember the day well.  She had been sick for about a week.  We suspected she may be pregnant.  So we drove into town, (we were living/working out in the middle of nowhere at the time), we went to church.  We picked up a couple of tests on the way to our friends, with whom we were spending the afternoon.  It was positive.  We called our parents.  The rest of the day was spent in a celebratory daze of shock, awe and blessedness.
      The next day, I got laid off.  On top of that, we were told that we had six days to vacate the place where we were living.  So here's the scenario:  We go from a newly married with a stable income and the next two years comfortably planned out...to pregnant, unemployed and homeless in a 24-hour time period.  We had $180 in our bank account and $500 worth of bills due.  Needless to say, it was a lot to take in.
      Although I wanted to get into a cycle of feeling sorry for myself and being pissed off at how massive a failure the whole thing was, something in my spirit checked me into the boards.  I'd been asking for a transformation.  I'd been asking for the next great thing to "do" with my life.  Well, God, The Universe, The Source, The Flying Spaghetti Monster had given me exactly what I needed.  As that famous dude once said, "Ask and it will be given."  It was up to me to accept the gift and to see the situation with the right pair of eyes.
       Some friends of ours took us in, so we at least had a place to stay, in fact, it was a resort compared to where we had been living.  I couldn't draw unemployment so I took the first job I was offered.  Although generally, I would have considered the work "beneath me" because of my prior education and experience, I took the job because it met my needs.  It was quick money. There was opportunity for rapid advancement.  In the interview they didn't mind hiring me, even though I told them I would be looking for a teaching job in the meantime and was going to quit as soon as I landed one.  They also didn't mind hiring me even though I still had a resisting arrest charge pending dismissal on my record.  I spent the next month as a laborer, working 14 hour days in Texas, in the summer, picking up trash.
        Everything worked out.  Much more has happened over the course of the year.  It's a long story.  Maybe I'll share it with you all one day.  But here are a few lessons I learned and it all started at my job picking up trash:

        1.  The world doesn't owe you anything.  Nope.  Not one red cent.  God doesn't owe you anything either.  You've already been given the gift of life.  That is opportunity enough.  Thinking any differently will automatically turn you into a victim and make you powerless to every circumstance that comes your way.  My boss didn't care that I had a master's degree.  The garbage wasn't going to pick up itself just because of my education.  All my boss and the company cared about is that the job got done right and the client was happy.  It was eye-opening when this realization hit me, because for most of my life I had been walking around with a chip on my shoulder thinking the world owed me a great payout for how hard I'd worked up to that point.  Because that had been my attitude, most of my life had been spent as a victim.  Knowing that you're owed nothing, will show you that you already have everything.  Now you're in the driver's seat.  The world, and any circumstance that befalls you, are gifts and teachers, rather than "enemies" trying to steal from you.   

         2.    Who or what you blame will have power over you.  When picking up trash all day every day, I had a lot of time to think.  Usually, my first thought would be where does all this trash come from?  From there, it would be really easy for me to get mad at the people who didn't clean up after themselves.  After all, if they did, I wouldn't have to be out in the sun cleaning up.  When I began to think like that, blaming others, I immediately gave power over myself to 100s of strangers.  Again, blaming others or circumstances not only will make you a victim, but it will also make you a victim that has willingly been victimized.  I spent much of my life secretly blaming others for my "failures".  I blamed my parents for not sending me to a better college and causing me to go into debt.  I blamed religion for not going further with my career as a basketball player.  I opted out of playing in many high-profile tournaments because games were on Sundays and I felt guilty for playing on Sundays.  The list goes on.  Ultimately I had to learn that I was responsible for everything that had happened to me in my life up to that point.  You have made every decision and thought every thought that has culminated in you arriving exactly where you are right now.  It is no one else's responsibility.  You have unlimited power and energy by which to create, partner with and transform the world around you.  If you are constantly blaming other people or circumstances you are literally telling that person or circumstance that you would rather they hold onto your personal power because you are afraid to use it.

       3.     There's no such thing as failure.  For a guy with two college degrees, working as a laborer picking up trash could seem like a giant failure, before that, leading my family into unemployment and homelessness could also look like a big fat failure.  But failure indeed is in the eye of the beholder.  You only fail when you choose to see the results as a failure.  In my situation, although my circumstances did not look the way I thought they should look, I was learning valuable lessons and skills along the way.  I got promoted from general laborer (where I picked up trash all day) to crew leader.  I got a company car, and I learned how to use all kinds of machines I never knew how to use before.  Now, it is a bold-faced lie to say that getting what you want is going to be easy.  It isn't.  But even if your outcome is less desirable than you may have imagined, you still have become something in the process.  Your thoughts have changed.  You have changed.  Because in the midst of doing things, what you've learned through it can never be taken away from you.  Maybe that's one of the mysteries we're supposed to learn as humans.  Maybe that's one of the doors that can show us the eternal seed we all have burning within.            

              
 

The Mastur(de)baters On Immigration.

    I've been thinking about ideas.  What is an idea?  What do ideas lead to?  Mainly, I've been pondering the concepts that thoughts (ideas) are things, and eventually thoughts or ideas are transformed into physical matter.  Most often, thoughts and ideas are transferred into their physical equivalent by their expression through human bodies.  In others words, thoughts become things through people's actions.

     Let that sink in.


     What do our ideas become?  The answer is as limitless as it is intriguing.  Ideas become:  Books.  Music.  Movies.  Governments.  Businesses.  Corporations.  Religions.  Countries.  Nations.  Collectives.  Systems of currency.  Wealth.  The list goes on.  A gathering of people that stand behind an idea, generally will breathe life into an idea, giving it the momentum to come into fuller fruition.  What happens when ideas (thoughts) compete against each other?  What happens if there is a disjunction?  Usually there is an argument, a conflict of sorts.  It may be resolved, it may not.  But the important question to ask is this:  What happens to the people in between?

      According to what I've been seeing on social media recently....nothing happens to the people in between.  Although this is not true, this is what is presented by the majority of people slandering one another in the name of opinions, then justifying their behavior under the guise of "having a civilized debate."  Sorry old chaps, there's no debate when the other parties don't even have a chance to respond.  I guess Facebook is the new Athens, and, real talk, if someone spoke like that to me in person I would punch them in the face.  Point being, I'm of the school that if someone isn't going to say it to my face, point-blank, man-to-man, then they ought to have the self-respect to hold their itchy keyboard fingers and keep it to themselves on social media.  It's ridiculous....

     I'll admit, though,  sometimes when I see this inane chatter go on for 200+ comments on someone's feed, I may slip in an underhanded remark or two just to get a reaction.  It's always the same-old-same-old, though: "My god is bigger than your god.  My religion is better than your religion.  My politics are better than your politics.  My penis is bigger than you penis", essentially.  I'm always left with the question:  If someone is so thoroughly grounded in what they think they believe, then why do they get so bent out of shape when someone else challenges that belief?  If I've learned two things during my adventures on this planet it is this:

1.          Your beliefs don't amount to a pile of flying monkey turds unless they can withstand scrutiny (or another's opinion, or the trials of day-to-day living.  Theory and application are two very different birds).  Light those turds on fire and see if they still smell like roses.
2.         You don't know what you don't know.   

    A belief is just that though....it's a belief.  An idea is an idea.  A thought is a thought.  A person, on the other hand, is a living, breathing, flesh and blood, body, soul and spirit with beliefs, ideas, and thoughts of their own and literally limitless potential to create beautiful things with their life.  I recently watched (with great amusement and consternation) as a group of Christian intellectuals beat each other senseless verbally over the Immigration issue in the United States.

     I'm not going to go into the issue itself, it goes much deeper than just a mere political solution.  I've lived on both sides of the border so I have a unique perspective on the matter.  People just really don't know how far the rabbit hole goes.  I'll leave it at that for now.   

     What got me riled up in observing the debate is how, not only did the arguers completely dehumanize the "illegal immigrants" and "illegal aliens", speaking of them as if they were insects or commodities that needed to be "controlled" (as if a legal/illegal status has anything to do with a person's humanity), but the arguers also engaged one another as if they themselves were merely the sum of a few ideas.

      A person is a person and not just an idea.  Your neighbor is flesh and blood human being, not just a pastiche of 1's and 0's encoded on a bitmapped screen.  We have been duped.  The mentality that deems an idea, a system, a government, a country, a religion more important than the living person standing in front of them, is the same mentality that sent millions to be slaughtered and cremated in charnel houses.        
   
       If I fail to recognize that the person behind the screen and stylish profile picture disagreeing with me is still a part of me, if I fail to realize that the young man sneaking across the border "illegally" to work towards a better life is also a part of me, then I have missed the point entirely.

       Enough divisions.  Enough ism and schism.  Enough separation.  No system is going to fix this.  So strap on your beards, boys.  It's time for the real fun to begin.